When your children are in the middle of an activity but the time is quickly approaching when you will have to announce that the activity they are so engrossed in will soon be coming to an end, there is often the dread of an ensuing temper tantrum. So what do we do? Sometimes we bribe them - "It's time to go home now, but I have a treat for you in the car." Or we try to trick them into thinking what we've decided is a good idea - "Do you want to take your babydoll or book to bed with you?" Neither of these tactics teach your child self-control. Instead, give your child a time warning. "We have to leave in 5 minutes." This gives them time to prepare for the change. And when it is time to go, announce, "Okay, time to go." Expect cheerful compliance. If you don't get it, follow through with the appropriate consequence.
Make a point to practice at home. Tell your child how you expect them to act when you announce a change in activity. Then role-play. You be the child. Let him/her be you. When he/she tells you it's time to go home or time for nap, act the way he/she usually does: throw a fit, run in the opposite direction, cry or whine. Whatever usually happens, you do. But make it even bigger. When you've settled down, tell your child this is not the right way to act. Then do it again the right way. When you are told it's time to go or time for bed (or whatever situation your child struggles with) answer pleasantly and obey quickly. Then talk about how much better it is to act that way. Now let your child be the child and practice obeying you cheerfully!
Let me know how it goes.
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I have to be honest - but I thought the whole idea of role playing was a bit silly. But after this afternoon - I'm lovin it! We had to put our library books and movies back because my 5 year old son disobeyed me and went back to the puppets and proceeded to growl again and shout. He got a spanking - then we put everything back.
So after lunch - we role played how we are supposed to behave in the library. And it just so happened that the baby was "shouting" while my son was trying to read me something and he didn't appreciate it - great tie in!
Anyway - we then role played how to hold my hand when I'm talking and he needs to interupt! He loved it - "can we do it again" I swear we did it some umpteen times - the "bad way" AND the "good way".
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